Oh, Darn...

Remember my New Year's resolution to write more in my blog? Well, that isn't going to happen. I passed away quietly in my sleep last night. I was home with my mommy so I was at peace.

What happened to me? I don't really know. I mean, I am 16. I can barely see. I was doing ok in Michigan except for the falls down the stairs and into the pool. Well, Saturday I was really tired and I slept ALL day. I did go out to do my business, but I really did not want to go for walks. Sunday was the same way. Maybe I was coming down with something. That evening I was breathing weird in bed with Mommy. It kinda sounded like I had a hairball in my throat. Mommy rubbed my tummy and I finally went to sleep.

I was tired when Mommy woke me up Monday to take me out to pee. She carried me out because I have been peeing in the house a lot. I've never done that before. Well, around noon I was lying on the floor and I started making that noise again. Then I pooped while lying down! Also, I was walking backwards. Weird! I couldn't control it! Mommy said something must be wrong, so she called Dr. Hambright. This time, I really wanted to go. They said to bring me in at 4:30. Mommy didn't really want to wait that long.

Well, the diagnosis was not good. Dr. Hambright said my condition was "serious". They did blood work and took four x-rays. Turns out I had a tumor in my abdomen and one behind or in my lungs. He said I most likely had one in my brain too because of the walking backwards thing. Mommy was devastated. She was a bit in shock too. They wanted her to "put me to sleep" right then and there. It was almost 7:00pm by then. She called my nana and my friend, Marcey. Marcey helped my mom decide to bring me home and give me something so I would be comfortable. He shot me (ouch) in my leg muscle with something called Buprenex. I think it is a doggy morphine. All I know is about ten minutes later I felt g o o d! I slept on the car ride home and Mommy lifted me out and carried me into the house and laid me on my blanket in the family room. I slept the whole night.

In the morning I was really thirsty! Mommy helped me find my water bowl and
I took a big long drink. It didn't stay down me though. She offered me some cottage cheese and I didn't want that either. Plus, I didn't even want my favorite raw meat treat! I tried to eat it, but spat it out. Mommy left me for two hours to work and when she came home she couldn't find me! I had scooted backwards and was under the table. She pulled me out and held me. That was nice, but I was shaking and breathing weird. She shot some liquid in my mouth. I felt a little better after that, but the whole day I was grunting and my legs were twitching. Mommy was really sad. She called my Dr. to bring me back to him. She wanted to do it Wednesday morning, but they said 2:00 was the only time they had. She went over there to get more of that liquid stuff [Buprenex] to give me Wednesday.

A lot of my neighbors came over to see me. Mary Lou whispered something nice in my ear. I couldn't tell her or show her that I loved her, but I think she knows that. Marcey and Toby stopped by. Marcey rubbed me and told me she loved me and her voice got funny. Carolyn stopped by too. She was going to drive me and Mommy to my Dr.'s on Wednesday.

Around 5pm my mom gave me more of that liquid stuff. She had to hold my head up, but I took it like a brave soldier. She tried to help me to stand and come into the family room, but I just couldn't. My breathing slowed down around 15 minutes later and a short time later I was finally at peace. My mommy cried. I want her to be okay. I am happy. I am at Rainbow Bridge. My mommy gave me the best love I could ever ask for. I know she loved me and I loved her unconditionally.

Well, that's it... maybe. If I find a laptop in Rainbow Bridge, then I will try to keep true to my New Year's resolution.

Yours truly,

Mac
AKA Mr. Mayor